It has gotten to a point where I don’t even want to be online anymore. I never thought that friends would make me feel like this.

So why get online when half my fucking buddylist is mad at me for not talking to THEM? What’s the point?

.::convo between me and quan this morning::.

KimchiThug82: I’m surprised you are online

ETERNITYS FATE: yeah, waiting for my class to start.

KimchiThug82: haven’t seen much of you and sam online, always away messages. what’s been going on

ETERNITYS FATE: working, school and so on…sleeping

KimchiThug82: ah, I see

ETERNITYS FATE: yup

KimchiThug82: what’s wrong? you so quiet

ETERNITYS FATE: nothing, just my friends getting mad at me bc I don’t talk to them much on aim or msn…not like I have time

KimchiThug82: yeah…understandable. esp. with what you going through

KimchiThug82: if they where your REAL friends they would understand and back up off you like that. what the fuck is that man?

ETERNITYS FATE: yeah, I know, they just make it seem like it’s all my fault.

KimchiThug82: don’t think like that, every time you think it’s your fault you go into one of your moods

KimchiThug82: don’t listen to them, fuck what they say. just stay offline for awhile, and get your shit taken care of

ETERNITYS FATE: yeah, i guess

KimchiThug82: no, not guess. we may not be together, but I still look out for you. You still my best friend and I gotta take caree of ya

ETERNITYS FATE: fa’sho

I’m sorry I don’t get online anymore. I’m sorry I actually have a life. I’m sorry that I have to work 3 jobs just because of all the shyt my family has been through this year. I’m sorry I had to be mature at 19 years old. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you much yesterday because I was studying for my midterm. I’m sorry for wanting to maintain my 3.5 GPA. I’m sorry for actually studying instead of getting online. I’m sorry for the away messages. I’m sorry for never being home. I’m sorry for actually wanting to go to sleep before I go to work.

I don’t get why friends do this to me…I never understood why I call you a friend when you make me feel like shyt about myself. Is there something wrong with me or what?

So yeah, this will be my last entry until next year I believe, when everything will be cooled down with me and I’ll be in Savannah.

To all my friends on xanga, thank you for always propping and commenting on me when I haven’t propped you and commented you in the longest. I’ll come by and check up on ya’ll soon. Drop me an email to let me know how you are doing.

To all my other friends that has stayed by my side through all of this and keep telling me that everything will be ok…you know who you are. I love you all and you are my best friends fosho.

And to Quan to actually counsel me before class. I think that’s what I needed.

So yeah…

Laterz everyone.